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 Chicago Ted Definition: A fictional character from the Valve game Left 4 Dead that has gained cult status on the internet thanks to a single phrase written on the wall of one of the levels - "No zombie is safe from Chicago Ted" Usage: I'd heard the Military had been running evacuations just north of our campsite. It had been days since we'd seen another survivor. The group I'd been traveling with was down to 4 including myself. We'd decided to follow the train tracks in hopes of a rescue but were running low on ammo and had only one med kit between us. The pills I'd popped had nearly worn off. Things were looking grim. Yard by bloody yard we increased our distance traveled looking for any place of refuge. We found an old train car that had been converted into a safe room but knew we had to keep moving. As the day drew on, we stumbled to the edge of large cornfield. My stomach dropped at what I saw next... An ocean of Zombies....30,000...no 40,000...nay...53,595 of them. We were doomed. As we gazed across the massive horde, i felt a sudden shift in the wind. Then we heard it... "Have any of you ever been to Chicago?" Where did this guy come from? Another survivor, alone. His eyes were shaded by the brim of his cap, but from beneath the bill, a twinkle that would make a diamond marvel shined through. "We're dead, game over man, game over" i said. The stranger just laughed a menacing laugh, and leaned against the hilt of his sword. "The wrath of God" etched down the nearly 4 foot blade. He must have stood 7 feet tall. I peered back across the sea of living dead. Zoey and Bill looked like they had all but given up. I promised Bill, no matter what happens, I wouldn't let those ******s eat him. I turned back to the man...who was now perched upon the back of a black stallion. Where the hell did he get a horse? As he looked down upon us, he simply said... "Ted, Chicago..Ted." His horse reared back, and he let out a monstrous roar. Lightning cracked and the sky lit with fire. We were about to see something really special. His horse leaped from the ledge into the horde. 1 by 1 they fell. 10 zombies with every swing of the sword...his horse moved with the power of a freight train. Together they climbed to the top of an old farm tractor. It was like watching a game of king of the hill, and there was only one ruler of this god-forsaken land. Chicago Ted. He was the physical representation of the word Win. They died by the thousands in a matter of minutes. The death toll rose to unrivaled proportions, and they were gone. Every last one of them. We stared in amazement. How could it be so? Just when we thought it was over...a car sized slab of cement came flying from the distance. Tanks. Not 1, not two...but 500 of them. More lighting cracked and Angels began to sing, the sky glowed bright with the color of Awesome...his horse rearing, he thrust his sword into the air and cried "NO ZOMBIE IS SAFE FROM CHICAGO TED" and charged into them head on. We never saw him again after that day, but later at night...as I gazed at the stars, I saw the same twinkle in the twilight I saw in his eyes and know...No Zombie will escape Chicago Ted. -REC, L4D Steam Forums Posted by thewisemonkey7 on April 29, 2009 at 08:31:53 Pacific |
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